A while ago I had given up Diet Coke. I had gone over a year without having any. Then something stressful happened Im sure (because i can’t rightly remember right now) and I started drinking it again. Two days ago i decided to give it up again. Today marks day 2 without drinking Diet Coke. While I wasn’t drinking it like I use to, I’m sure it will still be hard to resist. I’m not a water drinker. Never have been. If its really cold on a hot day or I’d just finished working out, then i can drink it. Otherwise, i don’t like it. I use Mio to tolerate it. So I am now working up to drinking the minimum 64 ounces a day with a hopes to hit the 1 gallon mark down the road. I’d bought that one container that was a gallon but it is a bit unwieldy and a pain to carry around and to work. I mean, the damn thing comes with a shoulder strap! Also, the ice melts too fast in it so it doesn’t stay cold. I think I jumped the gun and overestimated myself when i saw that on a friends page and bought it. It’s currently sitting on my dishwasher looking forlorn and abandoned.
My cousin died this week. She found out in July she had stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Sadly I didn’t find out till about two or so weeks ago when my sister told me. She went so fast. She was so young. She left behind her husband and three children, two of which are on the spectrum. I really didn’t get to see her outside of family gatherings because of the distance between our homes, but when we did, it was always full of laughs, smiles and love. I hate that she’s gone. I hate that I wont see her at future parties. I hate that she was taken so young. She was only 40. Why do the good ones die young?! It took about an hour after my sister told me she’d passed for it to sink in and then I started crying. I will miss you, cuz.
Being an emotional eater, I did cave to it some but not nearly what I would normally. I mean, I have never been one of those type of people that say they sit in their car outside of the grocery store and eat an entire cheesecake. I mean yea I’m a big woman but never, ever could i do that. Id barf if i ate more than two pieces. I could have maybe three cookies and a glass of milk and that is so filling i wouldn’t eat for hours. One of the reasons I always wondered why I’d gotten so heavy. I don’t really snack. i log my food into the “Lose it” app on my phone and i rarely go over my allotted calories I’d set in order to lose the weight in the time I’d set. I avoid bread, pasta, rice and sugar as much as possible. I try to get 8k to 10k steps in every day but with the desk job now its a bit harder. Weight loss is so frustrating. Why can’t I have a fast metabolism and eat whatever I want like a lot of my friends?! LOL!
Yesterday they called and told me my car was totaled. I’d heard this from the auto body shop the day before, and that sent me into another whirl of stress and emotion. They told me my Honda CRV 2010 was only work about $5400. When i looked up the payoff amount, it was at $6300. So I owed more than it was worth. All types of mental self beating ensued. “I was an idiot to pay so much for the car four years ago!” “Why didn’t i get gap insurance!” “I was naïve when i bought the car and the asshole salesman pulled a fast one on me and I didn’t know!” Yea..I ran down that mental path crying and punching myself. Then the angel at my insurance company called and informed me that my vehicle was actually worth closer to $9000 and I would actually get money back to put towards a new vehicle. Let me tell you I nearly got onto my desk at work and danced at that news. When I told them what the collision center said it was worth, she said they didn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to car value. So, now I only have my rental for 7 more days and I have to car shop. Guess what I’ll be doing this weekend? I went this morning and cleaned out the last couple things from the old car and got my license plates. Good-bye Safira. You were a good little car.
Stress is a horrible thing. I can handle a little bit and not go over the edge. But between the death of my cousin, the car, mentally going from I will owe money for the now dead car to i don’t owe money and I’ll be getting money back is a horrific roller coaster ride. My boys visit their father this weekend. I think there will be a bit of wine drinking after the car shopping. Cause I’m sure THAT won’t be stressful at all!!
Eat, Pray & Suck it Up! 