You Can Wish in One Hand…

Posted on by Jennifer GB

Well, you know how the rest of the saying goes. Life has been busy and I wish there were more hours in the day to do all that I want (and need) to do. For instance, different types of crafts. I have a room full of crafting supplies such as many, many skeins of yarn, boxes of embroidery threads in varying content (silk, cotton, wool), fabric for sewing garb, hundreds of patterns for costumes, knitted items and embroidery. There are some odd ball things down in that room that I obtained the supplies for but have not started like mandala rock painting or ballet point shoes to paint and decorate or teeny tiny crochet hooks so I can try crocheting those beaded tube bracelets. Yet, what I end up doing more often than not is knitting with scrap yarn (which there is a metric ton of practically) and making scrunchies or wrist warmers. Or, of course, socks, but the scrunchies and wrist warmers are a memorized pattern and i don’t need to look at anything while doing it so its my go to for knitting while watching tv after work or even when I take my son to the movies and I knit during it if it isn’t one in particular that I wanted to see, but I go with him so he can see it. Oh, you know what else is down there? About a hundred blank journals to write down my thoughts but what I realize is I don’t get to journal everyday like I want to due to the fact that by the end of the work day I am mentally exhausted and all I want to do is play the Oscar winning role of a couch potato watching Supernatural re-runs on Netflix. My hubby who is a carpenter does a similar version of my role on the other end of the couch but his artistic medium is more musically based with varying base tones of snoring. While he is physically exhausted from his profession, mine is mental. Yes, I said it, my job makes me mental and I am about to embark on the next level of this by returning to college, after 20 years to earn a Master’s Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling so I can more knowledgably help people with disabilities become educated and gainfully employed. Not to mention, the pay raise will be significant and alleviate the stresses of the rising costs of living that has come with the current POTUS despite his claims and promises it would go down drastically when he was voted in again ( and not by me, let me just say that right now and make that clear).

In another instance that falls under helping people, a couple weeks ago while talking to my Mom, she mentioned her frustrations with transferring funds and shares from my deceased Father’s name to hers. See, its been three years since he passed and these funds/shares, etc. have a time limit on transferring them over or they become unclaimed property by the state. Since my Dad never made a will (because he was paranoid if he did it would make him die sooner?? I don’t really know..), nothing was made legal of how he wanted his estate handled. Now, let me just say I love my Mom, as trying as she can be sometimes, she is not tech savvy at all, has a short fuse with things she doesn’t understand and she also has the attention span of a goldfish if it isn’t in her scope of interest, i.e.: the amount of paperwork it takes to get said items transferred to her name. This is why things have sat for three years and she was in a panic two weeks ago on the phone with me when she started getting letters saying if she didn’t take care of it she’d lose what he had. So, even though I am stressed with “college crunch time” at work, I made her send me all the letters, death documents, statements, phone numbers and notes on conversations she’s had with financial advisers and I set myself upon this task for her. After two weeks, two financial adviser conversations and one state treasury conversation later (and several hours filling out forms and scanning documents), yesterday I emailed the last document out for her and hopefully in about a month, all these outstanding things will be handled. The gratitude in her voice when she said thank you for handling it for her made it worth it, but I will say that after work yesterday (and the final email sent) I sat on the sofa knitting a wrist warmer and watched Jaws 1, 2 and 3. Well, most of three because the 3D effect and the graphics of the movie were so bad even my mentally fatigued mind had had enough and I went to bed. That was 10pm. At 2:30am, a shout from my son’s bedroom (an excited shout at a video game he was playing, yes he’s a night owl) woke me up and I couldn’t get back to sleep. So, here I am journaling at 3:30am and it’s the weekend so it doesn’t matter I’m awake this early because I can nap later while floating in the pool.

One thing I do wish is that instead of playing the Oscar wining role of a slug watching t.v., I’d like to be one of those people that handles stress by getting up and being active or exercising to alleviate it. I went on Wegovy about 10 months ago and have lost 35 pounds. I feel better already, but my goal weight is still a weighs off (ha, ha..see what I did there?) and I have hit a plateau for about two months now. Being more active would help with that I’m sure. It makes me think what makes one person love say mountain biking or jogging as a hobby and another like hand crafts or some other less active activity. I would say my injuries are my reason (having had a back breaking car accident at 24 which is now osteoarthritis). I wants to be and wish I were more active. I also wish to win the lottery so I don’t have to work and I can pursue my hobbies full time, but as they saying goes “We can wish in one hand…” you know how the rest goes.

One piece of advice before I sign off: MAKE A FUCKING WILL! Don’t leave your loved ones to go through this headache and heartache of stress and mounds of paperwork after you are gone. Put down what your wishes are and who beneficiaries are, make it all legal and pick an Executor/Executrix wisely, someone who has patience and knowledge to handle the phone calls, paperwork, cancellations of accounts, etc. You can do it online for free for God’s sake! There are several web sites out there that will help you. If you’re in a Union for your job, they most likely have assistance with this as well, as I know mine does. I miss you Dad, so damn much but seriously!?! (at least Mom learned from this and set things up immediately after my Dad died)

Well, I hear the coffee pot calling my name and hubby will be getting up soon. I will endeavor to post more often and I hope you all have a wonderful, wonderful day. Ciao!

The Drama Llama’s are Stampeding

Posted on by Jennifer GB

If you’ve ever worked in an office, especially an office with only women, the drama and cattiness is just profound sometimes. This week, the llamas have been stampeding through the office and somehow I keep getting trampled.

This week, the counselor I assist who is rather difficult sometimes..who am I kidding, all the time, has decided to be condescending and chastising in emails again because of work i executed while she was off. Apparently she is checking her email on her off day (something they frown upon greatly here, when you’re off, you’re off). She didn’t like I did the requested research and instead of just sending to her so she can review (and change to look good in her favor so she doesn’t get in trouble for neglecting cases), i sent to her and copied her supervisor. In emails a day or so previously, the supervisor requested I do this. Then another piece of work I’d done that needed approval, I sent to her supervisor instead of the office one (who left early for the day). She proceeded to tear me down in emails where she copied both hers and my supervisor. I responded to one, which only further ignited her ire in the next email, however, when her supervisor chimed in to essentially say let it go Id done nothing wrong, it felt quite gratifying to see her shut down. She had no further emails after that. That was Wednesday and yesterday.

Today, it was another coworker who apparently had her feelings hurt we haven’t asked her if she wanted food from where we were ordering from in about a year. Here’s the thing, she has many food allergies, is also vegan and every time we’d asked if she wanted anything from the two restaurants we order from, she always declines saying there isn’t anything I can really eat there. So that’s why we stopped asking because we felt bad. Apparently, it was the wrong thing to do and now there is a chip on her shoulder the size of Mt Fiji. I give up. She asked me the other day why I was so quiet. I shrugged. I come to work go in my office, close the door and do the work I am emailed. When it’s five o’clock, I leave and go home to the people I love. It’s disheartening that people feel this way. Its not intentional, but they’re allowed to feel what they want to feel. I don’t know if its because I’m getting older but I am over it. Life is too short and too precious to hold these grudges and ill feelings. It’s days like this I really wish to find a 100% remote job and do that so I am at least in an environment that is not stressful and full of drama like this. I remember when I first was hired for this position and having my first ever full blown panic attack the night before starting because I was worried I would lose my calm and happy unstressed self working in this type of environment again. I was literally sobbing on the phone to my best friend about my concerns. I couldn’t breath. I was hyperventilating with worry and concern. I thought I was having a heart attack. My hubby was the one who pushed me to find a job out of the home because he thought I needed the socializing since between COVID and workman’s comp from a neck injury, I hadn’t worked in over a year. I will admit, there is a little small bit of me that holds it against him for making me do this because I am feeling exactly what I feared I would. A small bit of me that blames him for my stress and upset from working in an office environment again. I’ve never said it to him, nor will I ever voice it to him but its there and I am sure he realizes it. When I’ve come home in tears or spouting hateful venom or just completely silent and I literally skip dinner and go to bed for the rest of the night at what has happened that day, I’m sure he knows and I hope he feels a little bit guilty. Don’t get me wrong I love him dearly and will forever, but still.

Well that went down hill rather quickly! It’s Friday and the day is done in roughly 3 hours. I will pick up my oldest from work, grab some take out for dinner as is our weekly tradition and go home where I will be in my PJs within 10 mins of walking in the door. I work remotely on Monday too. Do I have plans? No. My only goal for the weekend is to put away the rest of the clean laundry that has been sitting in baskets in my room for three days now. Putting it away is what I hate most about that chore but I think pretty much everyone feels that way, right? Also, knit. I’m trying to get past the difficult point in the shawl I’m making for a co-worker for Christmas (i adore her) and get to the easy part that will go quickly. I think I’ll bake cookies as well. Maybe some home made bread. I am weary.

Well, I’m gonna finish the work day and afterwards tend the proverbial hoof bruises on my back after I am home.

Ciao.